Last night I was a Wolf Man

Usually it’s a very bad idea to tell anyone about your dreams. No story is as good if it didn’t happen, that’s why your funniest friends aren’t the ones with the best imaginations or quickest wit, they’re the ones who do the dumbest shit, for real, in real life. They’re the ones who make cheese sauce by melting a block of cheese and adding cream, or they do number 2’s in the 18th hole of the mini-putt, or they put firecrackers up their bums ( I didn’t actually like him much but it was funny ). So telling someone about a dream is about the worst story you can tell, and you can tell this by the look on their faces while you’re telling them. Anyway, last night I dreamt I had had hair growing on my face. Not just in the normal beardy places like the jowls and chin, but right underneath my eyes, and on the bridge of my nose, and bridging my eyebrows. So you must be thinking “So what? So you looked like Teen Wolf, he’s cool. Also I don’t give a shit because this was a dream.” But I didn’t look like Teen Wolf, I looked like me with a monobrow and hair on top of my nose and hairy eye bags, because there wasn’t hair on my forehead, and the beard didn’t connect to the under-eye hair, they were separate crops. I looked totally fucked, and I was really worried, but in the resigned way we all worry when we look in the mirror and realise we are getting old and no longer look harmless and fun. I just accepted that my hairy nose and monobrow and furry eye bags were inevitable and there was nothing I could do. So what does it mean?